Remember the first time you poured your child a bowl of cereal and she asked you to serve 'Bobby' too? And you looked around, somewhat confused, and questioned, 'Who is Bobby?' Well, this marked your introduction to a common world in the realm of childhood, a world of imaginary friends.
Imaginary friends are much more than the invisible characters children conjure up during meal times or play. They participate in everyday routines, share in the child's meals, and may even be the go-to companion when your child prefers solitary play.
While it can be a charming experience as a parent to observe your child talk animatedly about the adventures they shared with their invisible friend, it can also evoke some concerns. This often leaves parents perplexed: 'Is it healthy for my child to have an imaginary friend? Is it indicative of loneliness or an underlying psychological issue? How should I, as a parent, respond to it?'
These questions and more will be addressed in our compilation of what you need to know about your child's imaginary friend.
The Invisible Companion
Quite simply, an imaginary friend can be anything your child’s imagination allows. This invisible friend might take on the form of a child, an animal, a toy, a doll, or even a mythical creature. The diverse versatility of an imaginary friend is reflective of a child's creative power.
Just like real friends, some kids may stick to one imaginary companion for a considerable period, while others might switch their invisible pals frequently. In fact, some children have confessed to having more than one imaginary buddy.
These invisible friends can accompany your child in many imaginary or pretend-play games, enhancing their playtime experiences, and stimulating their creativity.
Interestingly, imaginary friends can be quite a paradoxical concept since they stem from the same substrate they venture to satiate – your child’s mind.
Why Children Engage in Make-Believe Friendship
If your child has an imaginary friend, it is natural to conjecture that they might be feeling lonely or unhappy. However, while intuitively possible, it's not necessarily the primary reason. There's a diverse spectrum of reasons why children breathe life into these invisible characters.
Imaginary friends offer your child a sense of control; they serve as unwavering agreeable companions in their imaginative plays, unlike their real-life peers. They might also serve as the scapegoat for children, taking the blame for any misdeeds, fostering a safe space for your child to express their emotions, or providing assurance and comfort.
Imaginary friends often act as a mirror, reflecting your child’s thoughts and emotions which the child itself might find hard to convey. And last but not least, they are always available when your child needs them, offering unconditional companionship.
When do Children Create Imaginary Friends?
Imaginary friends start surfacing around the age of 2-and-a-half to 3-years-old. This is when children have a heightened sense of imagination and can fabricate invisible companions. These companions often play a major role in your child's real and pretend-play games, and in narrating fictitious stories.
This period of life is characterised by a surge in imagination and creativity, making children equipped with the necessary cognitive tools to create a companion for their adventures. Hence, the manifestation of imaginary friends is a testament to your child's thriving creativity.
The Norm of Imaginary Friends
The presence of an imaginary friend should not be a cause for concern. Research suggests that about two-thirds of children create an imaginary friend at some point during their childhood. It’s completely normal for a child to not have an imaginary friend as well.
The conjuring of imaginary friends doesn't necessarily signify your child's loneliness or stress. It is rather a source of numerous benefits. A child can express their emotions readily through the creation of these friends; they foster the learning of new skills, encourage social interactions and also aid in enriching vocabulary.
Moreover, your interaction with your child about their imaginary friend can facilitate important conversations about their feelings. For instance, in case the imaginary friend is afraid of something, it gives you an opportunity to comfort and reassure your child about their fears.
Responding to Your Child's Make-Believe Pals
While it might feel awkward understanding your role when your child engages with their imaginary friend, it's nothing to worry about. React in a way that you would with any of your child's real friends. By showing acceptance and involvement, you'll show your child that it's okay to be open about their companions and their imaginary world.
You can ask your child questions about the friend, like its name and what it looks like. This can facilitate your child's thought processes and communication skills. However, always ensure that your child initiates the conversation about the imaginary friend. After all, this friend lives in your child's mind.
Also, teach your child to not blame their imaginary friends for any misbehavior and hold both of them accountable if any rules are broken. If imaginary friends are blamed for any misdeeds, it's important that you correct your child in a gentle but firm manner.
When do Imaginary Friends Disappear?
The existence period of an imaginary friend can extend from several months to years. This period can enrich and inspire your child's creativity. In time, with other influences taking precedence, your child will eventually outgrow their imaginary playmates.
So, instead of viewing these imaginary friends as worrisome phantoms, remember the numerous cognitive benefits these invisible characters offer your child. Encourage this form of creative play while ensuring a balance with reality.